blue and brown books

It’s Tuesday, 2.26.08, rainy and cold in Hamamatsu.
Ever pull something out of your teeth and think; “I didn’t eat anything green today…” Holy shit I need to floss more. Forget this routine of journal entries, blog posts, and weekly photography business, floss your god damn teeth!
That said, I’m feeling more and more at ease with my own deadlines. Things aren’t stressing me out as much lately, and I’m feeling as though I’ve been catching up to a point I want to be with writing and photos. By ‘lately’ I mean in the past 2 days. Productivity is good, but I’m still fucking bummed about Jeannine leaving and having to struggle the next 6 months through my time in Japan.
It’s funny because I feel guilty about not wanting to be here because a lot of work has gone in to getting here (from Jeannine as well), and it really is something that has been, and will continue to be important to me. It’s a strange thing guilt.
I’m more accustom to the kind of guilt you have around procrastination. It’s difficult to get over the kind of guilt that’s so closely associated to missed deadlines, or looming work in general. Although I’m feeling fairly good about keeping up with things, I want to do more Letters to Nana, and I need to get serious about being conversational with Japanese. However, just today I barely made it to my Japanese class out of pure laziness, and not wanting to go outside on such a rainy day. I did end up going at 10am, and afterward went grocery shopping, forgot to pay my bills and the combini and then came home to make lunch and have a few rounds of chess before going to work.
I’m going to stop worrying about it and watch the Diving Bell and the Butterfly and then try to stop feeling down, I’m sure it’s just the torrential rain.