blue and brown books

It is Wednesday, 2.27.2008 and sunny.
For the past week or so, I’ve been avoiding the Family Mart. Luckily, there is also a 7-11 and a Sunkus within the same block of my apartment, but this is still a big deal. The Family Mart is a staple for me; snacks, quick lunch, paying bills, etc. are all accomplished at my corner store with precision and amazingly robotic politeness.

So polite in fact that a very nice lady who works the day shift that I have been having a few pleasant exchanges with, during most of which she teaches me a term or phrase that is usually helpful in these kinds of short pragmatic situations while shopping. For example, it began when she had placed my hot あんまん and my cold drink in separate bags and in my bumbling Japanese said “だいじょうぶ, いいえ けっこう です.” which means (however grammatically incorrect) “It’s alright, No thank-you, I’m fine.” where she then said “ああ… いっしょで” and made a circling motion with her hands. Regardless of what it could possibly mean, when I say it to someone who is bagging my groceries separately, I say “iishoude” and they put it all together. In another instance she pointed out several kanji to me that were for meat, fish and shellfish when I tried to purchase something that had meat in it. She knows that I’m a vegetarian because I always ask her if I’m unsure of what I’m purchasing has meat in it. Those are just a few examples of how awesome and helpful this person has been to me, just by being a combini employee, and how much useful (albeit simple) Japanese she has helped me with.

Last week she finally asked me where I was from, and what I was doing in Japan. Her English is very limited, as is my Japanese but we worked out that I was Canadian, and that I was here teaching English (and here is where it gets complicated). She then asks about the company I am working for, and if she could take lessons. I explained that I can only take on students that are 16 years or younger. From here, I had trouble understanding whether she wanted to enroll in the school (and thus misunderstood my explanation of 16 or younger) or that she had children who she wanted to enroll in the English school. It went on for a while, both of us obviously confused, until I finally decided that I would bring her an information pamphlet and a phone number to call. The problem with this, is that I don’t know if there are information pamphlets or phone numbers for her to call.

I’ve spent the last week trying to figure out those things out, and it turns out there is information, but it is geared more toward existing students’ families, their younger siblings, etc. The school I work for is a large organization that spans across Japan, but are not large in terms of their advertising. They tend to service the neighborhoods in which they are located. Even now, I’m not sure that if I give this information to her, she would just be confused. In my awkwardness, I’ve been putting off going to Family Mart, however, I am ready to return regardless of the small amount of information I have. This evening I made the attempt, and of course she wasn’t working at the time I finally went in. I’ll try tomorrow and let you know how it goes.

This entire engagement (or disengagement), I hope, encapsulates not only the stresses of not being able to speak the language of the community in which you are supposed to be a part, but also of the complete social awkwardness that goes along with being overall too polite. This, admittedly, is not a big deal, but for whatever reason these small things are what keep me awake at night. They don’t really but it’s just such an interesting and complex social problem, and I really wanted to try and capture it here.